Experiencing a loss can put you in an emotional state called grief. A person will feel excessive numbness, sadness, anxiety, fear but at the same time you may experience peace, happiness, or a sense of relief. All these emotions can harm your mind, body, spirit if you don’t take control of it because they are all mixed emotions bundled together.
The pain inside
I remember when I was told it would be hard for me to conceive a child naturally. My heart was broken. It was a loss for me because I lost out on being able to carry and conceive a child naturally. I lost out on the excitement, baby shower, and sharing the experience with other mothers.
There was a time my husband and I went through many fertility test and medications. After a year of it, we decided those options wasn’t for us. I learned that God’s plan wasn’t mine. Oh yes, it hurt and took a long while for me to get peace with what I was facing and feeling.
I cried, screamed (God – ARE YOU SERIOUS?), became mad at God and my husband, this went on for a few years. I trusted God but I was so numb from it… I read so many stories in the bible about the barren women and how God blessed them. I asked myself many times why can’t I. I believe one hard part is no one close to me ever spoke to me about it (until my book came out a few years ago), so I didn’t have an outlet to share my feelings except with my mother, which she is no longer with me…
But guess what, I decided to fight through all the negative emotions, pain, hurt. The fight lead me to freedom, my happy place. Then God blessed me with two spiritual births, two children. You see our choices make a difference. When you get pass grief it doesn’t mean you stop forgetting about the loss but it means you decided to live and not die to live a healthier life.
There is purpose in everything God does, a lot of the time we don’t understand. So, what am I saying, we all experience some type of loss in life. When you find, yourself stuck in it more than a couple of weeks, to where you can’t function, your family is disrupted, you can’t hear from God. Reach out to someone even if no one reaches for you, to move forward.